SOME RECOMMENDED BOOKS AND WEBSITES
I believe strongly in the value of using readings, workbooks, podcasts, music as an adjunct to therapy. You can also find a list of my important presentations at the end of this list.
Solomon, Andrew. The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression. The author combines his personal story with information about suicide and depression. His TED talk is also excellent.
Jamison, Kay Redfield. An Unquiet Mind. Anything by Dr. Jamison is recommended. She is an international expert on bi-polar disorder and also has the disorder.
Based in Australia, the Black Dog Institute is an excellent resource for those dealing with depression.
The Brain and Behavior Research Foundation. A great site to keep up to date with the latest research.
Kramer, Peter. Ordinarily Well: The Case for Antidepressants. Also his book Listening to Prozac which was a study of how Prozac has the ability to totally change lives.
Bourne, Edmund. The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. 3rd edition.
Abramowitz, Jonathan. Getting Over OCD: A 10-Step Workbook for Taking Back Your Life.
Greenberg, Dennis and Christine Padesky. Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think.
Introversion/Highly Sensitive People (HSP)
Laney, Marti Olsen. The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World. Not as good as Susan Cain’s book but has some practical exercises.
Arons, Elaine. The Highly Sensitive Person. Also The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You.
Ariel, Cindy. Loving Someone with Asperger’s Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with Your Partner.
Grandin, Temple. The Autistic Brain: Thinking Across the Spectrum. Temple Grandin is a college professor and is a person with high functioning autism.
Taylor, Jill Bolte. My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey. This renown brain scientist shares her personal experience of having a stroke and the aftermath.
Trauma and Child Abuse
Shapiro, Francine. Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy. While Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a somewhat controversial technique, the exercises in this book are helpful.
Gil, Eliana. Outgrowing the Pain: A Book for and About Adults Abused as Children. A classic.
Miller, Alice. Any of her books. She is particularly useful for those who have experienced emotional or psychological abuse.
Epstein, Helen. Children of the Holocaust. The first book on the impact of the Holocaust on the second generation.
Cori, Jasmin Lee. The Emotionally Absent Mother: A Guide to Self-Healing and Getting the Love You Missed.
McBride, Karyl. Will I Ever Be Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. While not all mothers with narcissistic personality disorder are abusive, many are.
Lawson, Christine Anne. Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship. While not all mothers with borderline personality disorder are abusive, many are.
Ross, Rick Allan. Cults Inside Out: How People Get In and Can Get Out. Ross is a leading national expert on the impact of cults. Also see the Cult Education Forum he maintains.
Epstein, Mark. The Trauma of Everyday Life. The author maintains that experiencing trauma is part of everyday life. From a Buddhist perspective.
Van der Kolk, Bessel. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Van der Kolk is an internationally known expert on trauma.
Cermak, Timmen. Marijuana: What’s a Parent to Believe? Dr. Cermak does not use scare tactics.
Black, Claudia. “It will Never Happen to Me:” Children of Alcoholics – As Youngsters – Adolescents – Adults
While 12 step programs have their place, they aren’t for everyone and the research on their effectiveness is weak. Smart Recovery is a free online program backed by extensive research for people dealing with a variety of out-of-control behaviors. Highly recommended.
Kessler, David. The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite.
Meditation and Mindfulness
Neff, Kristen. Self-Compassion. Also her website is excellent.
Greater Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life This is a great resource on evidence-based tools for a meaningful life.
Kornfield, Jack. After the Ecstasy, the Laundry. How the Heart Grows Wise on the Spiritual Path. Also A Lamp in the Darkness: Illuminating the Path Through Difficult Times. Jack helped establish the Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Marin County.
Palmer, Parker. Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
Kabat-Zinn, Jon. Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life. Kabat-Zinn developed Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, which is now used worldwide.
Wertsch, Mary Edwards. Military Brats: Legacies of Childhood Within the Fortress.
Hanh, Thich Nhat. No Death, No Fear: Comforting Wisdom for Life. A Buddhist approach.
Brenner, Rabbi Anne and Cutter, Rabbi William. Mourning and Mitzvah: A Guided Journal for Walking the Mourner’s Path: A Guided Journal for Walking the Mourner’s Path. Not just for Jews! Rabbi Brernner is also a Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Rosenberg, Marshall B. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion. NVC is studied and implemented around the world.
Brown, Brene. The Power of Vulnerability. This is an amazing TED talk.
The Human Awareness Institute (HAI). HAI has done workshops around the world for over thirty years with thousands of people who want to live life at a more intimate level. Not for everybody but worth exploring if you are an open-minded person wanting a life with more intimacy, communication, and sexuality.
The Five Love Languages are a useful tool to use about how you like to express and receive love from your partner(s).
Perel, Esther. The State of Affairs.
Mint, Pepper. Playing Fair: A Guide to Nonmonogamy for Men Into Women.
Bradley, Brent and James Furrow. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy for Dummies. EFT is a research-based therapy for couples and families. This book has useful material including specific exercises you can do at home.
Dr. Eve. Cyberinfidelity: The New Seduction. Dr. Eve (therapist Marlene Wasserman hosts a highly popular program in South Africa on sexuality).
Gould, Terry. The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers.
Winston, Dedeker. The Smart Girl’s Guide to Polyamory.
Kimmel, Michael. The Gay Man’s Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage.
Sheff, Elizabeth. Here is an excellent blog posting on solo polyamory.
Sheff, Elizabeth. The Polyamorists Next Door. A study of polyamorous families.
Veaux, Franklin, and Eve Rickert. More than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory. An excellent book for those new to polyamory as well as those who have been polyamorous for a while. Also check out Franklin’s site.
Anapol, Deborah. Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners.
Easton, Dossie. The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures. 3rd edition. One of the best book titles ever. Reclaiming the word “slut.” Good for readers who are kinky.
Labriola, Kathy. Love in Abundance: A Counselor’s Advice on Open Relationships and The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships. Kathy’s work is great and I encourage you to visit her web site for all kinds of additional resources, including podcasts. She works closely with Dawn Davidson, whose web site also has many useful resources.
Munson, Marcia and Stelbaum. The Lesbian Polyamory Reader: Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Casual Sex. Very dated and hard to find but has a few useful articles.
Taorimono, Tristan. Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships.
Block, Jenny. Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage. Excellent book for those exploring open relationships who are married. Also excellent on bisexuality.
A guest blog I did on long-distance polyamorous/kinky relationships
Gottman, John and Nan Silver. What Makes Love Last?
Taormino, Tristan. The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus. Also The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio and The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women
Wiseman, Jay. SM101: A Realistic Introduction.
Barbach, Lonnie. For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality.
The best place for answering your questions about sexuality is San Francisco Sex Information.
Blank, Joani. Still Doing It: Women and Men Over 60 Write About Their Sexuality.
This is just one of many excellent books on sexuality by the woman who founded Good Vibrations, a wonderful sex toy store.
Dodson, Betty. Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving. Any of her books on masturbation and orgasm. Helpful in understanding appropriate terminology for trans folks.
Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ.
A wonderful Ted Talk on the inspirational power of music by Benjamin Zander.
Why study music? This is probably the most inspirational speech I have ever heard on the topic.
Levitan, Daniel. This is Your Brain on Music: The Science of a Human Obsession.
Jourdain, Robert. Music, the Brain and Ecstasy: How Music Captures Our Imagination.
Saks, Oliver. Muscophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain.
Kirschman, Ellen. I Love a Cop: What Police Families Need to Know.
Lattin, Don. Changing Our Minds: Psychedelic Sacraments and the New Psychotherapy.
Death and Dying
Yalom, Irvin. Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Dread of Death.
“Lesbians in Therapy,” RT: A Journal of Radical Therapy, 4(8), November 1975, p. 22-24.
“Women’s Issues,” Social Work, 22(6), November 1977, 502-503 (with Cleo Berkun, Gail Splaver, Shelly Brauer, and Louise Pietrafesa)
Therefore Choose Life: A Study of Female Suicide Attempters, unpublished doctoral dissertation, University of California, Berkeley, School of Social Welfare, 1983
“Counseling for Gay and Lesbian Couples,” Practice Digest 7(1), 1984, pp.13-16
“Identifying Potential Suicides Among High-Risk Women,” Social Work, 30(6), November/December 1985, 511-517.
Review of David Lester, Suicide as Learned Behavior and Larry Morton Gernsbacher, The Suicide Syndrome: Origins, Manifestations, and Alleviation of Human Self-Destructiveness, Social Work, 33(6), November/December 1988, 561-562.
“The Person-In-Environment (PIE) System for Describing Problems of Social Functioning,” Hospital and Community Psychiatry, 40(11), November 1989, 1125-1127 (with Janet B.W. Williams and James M. Karls)
Review of Israel Orbach, Children Who Don’t Want to Live, Social Work in Education, 12(4), July 1990, 284-285.
“PIE: A New Language for Social Work,” Social Work, 37(1), January 1992, 80-85 (with James M. Karls).
“The Person-In-Environment System for Classifying Client Problems: A New Tool For More Effective Case Management,” Journal of Case Management, 1(3), Fall 1992, 90-95 (with James Karls)
Person-In-Environment (PIE) System: The PIE Classification System for Social Functioning Problems. Washington, DC: NASW Press, 1994 (with James M. Karls).
PIE Manual: Person-in-Environment System: The PIE Classification System for Social Functioning Problems. Washington, DC: NASW Press, 1994 (with James M. Karls)
“PIE (Person-in-Environment),” In Richard Edwards (ed.), Encyclopedia of Social Work, 19th Edition, Washington, DC: NASW Press, 1995, 1818-1827 (with James Karls).
“PIE (Person-in-Environment)”, New Technologies in Human Services, 9(3), 1996, 28-34 (with James Karls).
(2015, March 30). “Whole Lot of Driving Goin’ On: Poly and Kinky in Rural America”. [Guest blog post]. Retrieved from http://drkkolmes.com/2015/03/30/relationshipskillswandrei/
“‘Sleeping with the Enemy:’ Non-Monogamy and 1970s Lesbian Feminists,” Sexualities, 2018. DOI: 10.1177/1363460717750074.
“Queering the Countryside: New Frontiers in Rural Queer Studies,” by Mary L. Gray, Colin R. Johnson, Brian J. Gilley, New York University Press, 2016. Book review. Contemporary Rural Social Work, in press.
“The Person-in-Environment System for Describing the Problems Adult Clients Bring to Social Workers,” 1983-1996. Presentations in California and nationally.
“Stepping Up: So You want to be an Executive Director,” The Volunteer Center, Santa Rosa, CA, 2000
“Is This Worth My Time?” The Volunteer Center, Santa Rosa, CA 2000
“Worker-Friendly Workplaces,” Leadership Mendocino, Ukiah, CA, 2000
“Marijuana Abuse Prevention in the Emerald Triangle,” California Alcohol and Other Drugs Program Training Conference, Sacramento, October 2010
“Marijuana Abuse Prevention in the Emerald Triangle,” The Dean Edell Show, December 7, 2010.
“Assessing and Managing Suicide Risk: Core Competencies for Behavioral Health Professionals,” Social Advocates for Youth, Santa Rosa, CA and Mendocino County Youth Project, Ukiah, CA, 2014
“Open Relationships: What Every Psychotherapist Needs to Know,” California Society of Clinical Social Workers, Sonoma/Napa Chapter, Santa Rosa, CA 2014.
“The Person-in-Environment System for Describing the Problems Adult Clients Bring to Social Workers,” California Society of Clinical Social Workers, Santa Rosa, CA, 2014.
“Polyamory, Lesbianism, and Sexual Fluidity: Some Preliminary Questions,” 2nd Academic Polyamory Conference, Berkeley, California, February 2015
“Polyamory, Lesbianism and Sexual Fluidity,” 1st International Non-Monogamies and Contemporary Intimacies Conference, Lisbon, Portugal, September 2015
“Open Relationships,” Alliant University, San Francisco (MFT class), 2015
“Polyamory, Lesbianism, and Sexual Fluidity”, 3rd Academic Polyamory Conference, Berkeley, California, February 2016
“‘Sleeping with the Enemy:'” Consensual Non-Monogamy and 1970’s American Lesbian Feminists,” CARAS Alternative Sexualities Conference, May, 2017, Chicago
“‘Sleeping with the Enemy:'” Consensual Non-Monogamy and 1970’s American Lesbian Feminists,” 2nd International Non-Monogamies and Contemporary Intimacies Conference, Vienna, Austria, September 2017
“Conflict is not Abuse,” Network for New Culture,” Upper Lake, CA, October 2017
“Gradients of Agreement,” Network for New Culture, Upper Lake, CA October 2017
“Working with Clients in Open Relationships,” Redwood Empire Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, October 2017